By Renee, LSWA
Good question! I'm glad you asked. So you've made your list of SMART goals, mapped out your vision and created a great budget but still you can't seem to make any progress. What's missing? According to Adele B. Lynn in 50 Activities for Developing Emotional Intelligence, we can be deterred from achieving our life long dreams by what she terms "Spirit Killers." These spirit killers can block our growth and we have to work to overcome them. But first, we have to recognize them and understand how they work.
1. Celebrity Ego: Our own egotism holds us back. We already know how great we are so there's really no need to make changes. Right? This kind of thinking keeps us from confronting the truth and from seeing reality. We need to just throw off the celebrity status and get real.
2. Fear: We all know the acronym- False Evidence Appearing Real. It is the greatest demon that prowls around looking to kill and destroy our growth. We all experience fear on one level or another and there are healthy degrees of fear. It is the fear that we allow free reign over our mind, soul and actions that sucks us dry. We need to believe we can and do have control over it or we will never grow.
3. Submission Bullies: As if we can't generate enough fear on our own, along comes mean-spirited, controlling tyrants who add to our fear. Their weapons are intimidation and insignificance. We allow them to invade our spirits and crush our confidence. Before you know it, their negative talk becomes our negative self-talk. Our crushed confidence hinders us from growth.
4. Laziness: Growth does not come out of laziness. Growth is work and not easy. It requires introspection and then change. It is easier to maintain the status quo, but if we let laziness win out, growth will be stagnant.
5. Inner Inertia: We can begin doing all the right things to develop ourselves but we can get stuck and just hang in a state of limbo. It's great to be reflective and inner focused but we can't just stay there.
6. Ignoring Truth: We have become quite skilled at ignoring the truth. We know the truth but are quick to reject it as untruth because we would rather live in denial. Because of this we find fault with the truth and dismiss it quickly and painlessly before it can even be considered and weighed.
Can you identify with any of these? Be honest (see #6)! Spend some time really evaluating and identifying patterns of one or two that prove most destructive for you. How can you prevent these "soul-suckers" from stunting your growth? Identify behaviors and people that can help you overcome these obstacles. Imagine what you could achieve if you could wipe out these spirit killers from your life!