By Nick (My Experience As...)
Because I want to!!!
As the parent of young children I am very aware of what self-control, or rather a lack of self-control, is all about. My oldest son, currently six, is a prime example. He will get into trouble for doing something he knows he shouldn’t. Being a good parent I sit down and talk with him. After all discipline is rooted in teaching and teaching is rooted in communication.
We will talk about what he did and how it was wrong. He will understand the reasons for why he should take a toy from someone or whatever the offense was. He’ll understand how it feels if someone does that to him and even feel sympathy for how he made the other person feel. Then we will get to “why?”
Me: Why did you do this?
(He looks at the ceiling)
Me: Look at me when I talk to you.
(He looks at me)
Me: Why did you do it?
(He looks at the floor)
Me: I have asked you twice now. This time answer me or you are going to sit in the corner, what did you do it?
Him: (Finally and very loudly) Because I want to!!!
I’m not saying his grammar is the best but I think that he has shown what the root of everything is. When asked in the Garden why they ate the Apple, Adam and Eve blamed each other and the snake. If you look past their lies the reason boils down to this same thing. “Because I want to.”
"When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." (Genesis 3:6 NIV)
It looked good and was desirable. She wanted it. That’s what desire is all about.
Here’s another important truth though. The sin isn’t that the fruit looked good and was desirable. They didn’t listen to what God said. They didn’t restrain themselves from what they wanted. They failed.
Self-control isn't avoiding something you dislike.
I don’t like lima beans. They are disgusting. The smell is enough to make my nose curl. The flavor is somewhere between bad and bland and the texture … I believe the texture may be the worst part. I honestly reminds me of changing an infant’s diaper.
If all fast food consisted of lima beans, and all confections were made from the vile things and anything unhealthy included a substantial dose of the mushy green buggers I would be the diet champion. Sadly the stuff I shouldn’t eat in excess is the stuff I do like.
OK I understand what self-control is and why my waist keeps growing, but how do I pray for my kids?
Well, like the last article I wrote you have to start praying for yourself. If you can’t model self control to others, then you cannot expect them to show this fruit in their life.
As you pray for yourself, think of that. This is a fruit and must be tended. Good fruit requires being rooted in something of substance, not the shallow soil in my backyard. It requires light and water and it requires pruning.
Pray these things into your life and the life of your youth.
That you/they might be rooted in the Word, and grafted into Christ.
That you/they might stand in the light, shunning darkness and that the water of God’s love and mercy would pour down.
That God would prune the distractions from your life and give you the strength to endure the discomfort of the shears knowing the joy you will have in new strength.
[Editor's Note: This post is the eighth contribution to a wonderful series we are doing on Biblical virtues and praying for our children. I firmly believe that as parents, it is part of our responsibility, and an honor, to pray to our Father in heaven on behalf of our children. I pray you are blessed and encouraged by the words of these posts and that you will join me in my passion for growing strong, confident, loving, honorable and faithful children of God. If you missed the first six posts, be sure to go and read them: Love for God's Word, Salvation for the Next Generation, Praying for the Willingness and Ability to Work, Biblical Self-Esteem: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough... Or Am I?, Love Is..., Praying for Perseverance and Faithfulness]
Nick is a husband and father to four children all of whom he loves dearly. He is also a youth pastor to over 50 students, a great writer and a whiz with computers. He has a fabulous blog where he shares his Experience as a Husband, Father, Youth Pastor, Geek and Jesus Freak. Be sure to go check it out.