By Kevin (Shooting the Breeze)
Being a dad can be a balancing act sometimes.
Actually, it is not just a balancing sometimes; it is a balancing act ALL the time! On any given day my attention is being pulled in at least four different directions: toward my wife, toward my children, toward my job and toward myself.
All these aspects of my life are important BUT they are not of the same importance. I have to choose how I prioritize these different important aspects of my life. I must be living with the right priorities in place in order to find a happy balance in my life.
This is how my priorities line up right now:
Priority #1: My relationship with my wife Lauren. Lauren is my best friend and she needs to be my first priority. If our relationship is not strong, the other aspects of my life will suffer as well.
Some ways that we make our relationship a priority are: weekly date nights, yearly getaways and having a connecting time before we go to bed each night.
Priority #2: My relationship with my three daughters. I have to choose to make my daughter’s my second priority. I need to choose to invest my time and energy into them. The scary reality for me is the fact that I only get one chance at raising them. They are quickly growing up and if I don’t seize the opportunity now, I may lose it forever.
Some ways that I make my relationship with my daughter’s a priority are: weekly family game nights, giving my children my full attention after supper to bedtime (I definitely lapse on this one from time to time) and yearly family holidays.
Priority #3: My job. My job is important but it is not of most importance to me. I love being a pastor. I recognize though that sometimes I choose to elevate this priority over my first two priorities. When I do this my family suffers. Thankfully I have a job that can include my family at times but I still need to constantly make sure that the balance is right.
Some ways that I seek to find balance are: work only 45-50 hours a week, give myself permission to rest if a week is lighter, delegate and empower others (this is a work in progress), be proactive in my planning and only be out a maximum of three nights a week.
Priority #4: Myself. This is the one area that I struggle the most with. I know that I need to be making taking care of myself a higher priority because when I don’t everything else suffers. I have learned that the hard way a few times now.
Some ways that I make taking care of myself a priority are: monthly retreat days, a weekly Sabbath, regular exercise and attending at least one personal growth conference a year.
I wish I could say that I have the balancing act all figured out but I don’t. I need to be doing constant evaluation to keep things in order.
How do you live out balance in your life?
Kevin Martineau has been married 16 years and has three beautiful daughters (10, 7 and 4). He has the honour of serving God through his role as Pastor at Port Hardy Baptist Church on Northern Vancouver Island, British Columbia. He enjoys blogging, reading, photography and watching hockey.