Checking For Bombs
Monday, October 12, 2009 at 1:13PM MAD21 By Peter (Rediscovering the Church)
My father once worked in an office which shared a parking lot with an army recruitment office. This was in England, back in the 1980's and, back then, England was going through a rough period where we had frequent terrorist threats and attacks.
Every now and then there would be a credible threat against all military offices and bases and the army guys would come by my Dad's office and nicely tell him that he should check under his car for bombs before going home.
It was all very exciting, but no bombs were ever found. We lived in a far too insignificant town for terrorists to come around our way. The threat was still real though, and the checks were necessary.
As I was reminiscing about those 'good old days' recently I started to really think about how important it is for us to check for hidden bombs. I'm not talking about C4, high explosive devices that will make your car jump three feet in the air like in a movie but rather hidden bombs in that threaten to destroy your life and your relationships.
Time and time again we see families torn apart because a bomb has gone off, decimating everything they believed to be true. Common bombs are things like:
- Affairs
- 'Coming out' as being gay
- Pornography
- Child abuse
- Drug addiction
One day the family is plodding along just fine, thinking everything is OK then, suddenly, BOOM! A secret is revealed, hurt caused, bonds broken and relationships damaged, sometimes beyond repair.
I want to encourage you today to check in your own life for bombs. Is there anything in your life which could potentially cause damage if it comes out in the open?
The danger here is denial. It's easy to get ourselves into a state where we believe that "no one will ever find out". Do you have things that you are keeping secret from your spouse or family that you're just certain they'll never find out about? Get a dose of reality before reality grabs a hold of you: It's almost impossible to keep anything a secret forever.
If you have a hidden bomb in your life, then you need to deal with it before it's too late. Dealing with it now while you still have some control will limit or even nullify its effects and will lift a huge weight from your shoulders that you possibly don't even realize is there.
Here are some steps that you can take to start dealing with hidden bombs:
- Seek wise counsel
- Be willing and prepared to change - the bomb must be diffused or it is still potentially deadly
- With the help of trusted counselors work out a strategy for talking to you family - don't just 'reveal' the bomb to them without serious thought as to how best to do it, or it's likely to explode in your face!
- Be prepared for a long, slow trek back to being fully trusted again by those you love.
Checking for bombs under the car was never the most pleasant experience for my Dad, he had to get down on his hands and knees in the dirt in his nice suit. It was a dirty, sometimes painful job but for his sake and the sake of his family, it was well worth it.
Checking for bombs in your own life can be painful and messy at first but it's a million times better than the pain and mess created if you let that bomb sit there until one day it goes off.
Peter is a fellow blogger who is a husband, stay-at-home dad, house church pastor, aspiring author and small business owner who tries to make God the center of everything he does. He's walking out his salvation and learning and struggling just like the rest of us!
Faith, Family Life, Perseverance, Protection in Family Life
Reader Comments (12)
Amen Peter! Great thoughts on this subject!
Great words of wisdom, Peter. We should all take these words to heart and make sure we don't keep something hidden that could 'blow up' in our faces!!
Nice post, Peter.
May I add that each of those "bombs" is the result of selfishness? Each one is something that we have placed before our family and before our God. It's about our own passions and desires.
Of course, refusing to forgive is also about self, but that's another post entirely.
God bless you and your father.
Kevin: Thank you, kind sir
Bridget: Right on! I hope people do an honest check for bombs and deal with them before it's too late!
Eric: You're right. In fact, most if not ALL sin is about selfishness. Which is probably why the two greatest commandments are about loving God and loving others - completely unselfish acts!
Excellent analogy and thoughts. Great job, Peter!
This article was SO very thought-provoking. I have never thought about secrets as potential bombs...but that is a great analogy! For me, many of my "bombs" are wounds from past hurts that I have never dealt with. Great article that has really got me thinking...
Wow, what I've been doing in the past few years just passed before me as I read this post. I don't remember having been this nervous while reading something. Peter, thank you very much for this.
So true Brother. so true...
and great advice.
Hey Peter, your article is the Bomb, uh, you know what I mean...
Great comments and things for us to think about Peter. Hidden bombs can be major and obvious (like some you mentioned) or they can be more sneaky. Let me share about one I found and eliminated.
The TV you watch as an impact on your overall mindset and how you view the world around you. The more negative you allow to penetrate your focus, the more negative you start viewing the world.
I found this to be true for me with SVU. I am a volunteer rape crisis first responder and I LOVED to have SVU on TV playing in the background while I did other things. (I very rarely actually sit and watch TV...it is usually more like a radio for me.) In fact, there were some weekends where I would have the marathons playing throughout the day. This was a huge BOMB though for 2 reasons. Because the content was adult in nature, my son could not be in the room I was in while watching the show. Because the content contained negative stories in every episode, I was filling myself with those negative thoughts. About a year ago, I realized this and decided to eliminate that show (and other shows like it) from my viewing. The result is a much happier family and much happier me.
To your success!
Steph - Most people underestimate the influence that TV and movies have on them. People all too often live in denial about it and you're right, although it's not exactly a bomb waiting to go off, it's like a poison seeping through us, affecting almost every aspect of our lives.
Great comment. THANK YOU!
Awesome stuff, Peter. Checking for bombs....now.