Change From The Inside

By Pat

When I pray, I often ask God to help me to have more patience, or to be less judgmental. I frequently ask Him to help me to not be snappy and quick-tempered and to keep me from saying any words that are hurtful and un-Christlike. And sometimes it works! When I feel stressed, sometimes I am able to hold my tongue and take a deep breath and settle down, or I am able to look at another person and chase unkind or judgmental thoughts and feelings away.

But that's just not enough. Although it's nice to exercise self-control, isn't it un-Christlike to have those feelings in the first place? What good does it do to simply ACT a certain way? We may be fooling other people, and maybe even ourselves, but we're certainly not fooling God. If I am seething inside and have to bite my tongue and paste on a phony smile, am I really better than the hypocrites Jesus often scolded?

I can't imagine Jesus was like that. Jesus had a right heart. He didn't have to TRY to act loving, kind and patient; He WAS loving, kind and patient. He saw through the eyes of God. I began to alter my prayers after this revelation hit me and God opened my eyes to my error. I began asking God to, as the psalmist said in Psalm 51:10, "create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Acting a certain way isn't BEING a certain way. Now when I pray, I ask God to help me to see others through His eyes. I ask Him to take away my quick temper, not hide it by the way I act. I ask Him to give me a peaceful heart, not the ability to hide my stress and anxiety. And little by little, God is changing me, and for that I am grateful! I don't want to just act like Jesus. I want to BE like Jesus!