One Word At A Time: Patience
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 at 7:00AM MAD21 By MAD21
Oooohhh, patience. One of those words that qualifies as a "four letter word" because it implies that it's bad or something no one can attain.
I've always admired people who were able to stay level-headed in stressful situations. As a parent I struggle with being patient with my kids more than I expected I would. I've worked with kids most of my life and never really had a problem with taking my time to help them along. Which is saying a lot since most of the time I end up working or playing with the ones who tend to be more of a challenge.
I get really frustrated at myself sometimes. Honestly, I wonder at times if I used up all of my patience with kids from working so much with them before I had my own. But then I remember the words I often heard when telling a parent how much fun we'd had with their kids. "You just wait until you have your own. Then you will truly appreciate what it means to have someone else take care of your kids for awhile."
What that meant was, you aren't with them 24/7 so the little things that people normally do in a day don't build up and get on your nerves. I find that even now when I'm working at my daughter's school, I am surprised that the patience I had before I had my kids is still there... with other people's kids. You know the potential that your children have, you know when they are being lazy or uncooperative, so it's easy to be less patient with your own.
Patience is a gift. You give it to your kids when they need more time with something (even if you've told them 1000 times to do it). You can give it to other people around you by letting someone in front of you while driving, by helping someone at the grocery store, and for some, just telling them to have a good day even if they've been rude to you. By being patient with others, we are also benefiting from it ourselves (even if it doesn't feel like it at first).
We all seem to be in this big hurry all the time. But have you ever stopped to wonder where we are going? Why the rush? I was born and raised in the west, and in the west things are at a much slower pace. People say hello to each other at the grocery store and make eye contact with you. People talked to each other, they cared, and they knew when their neighbors had needs that needed to be met. I've lived in the east now for about 22 years. Everything is at a much faster pace. Faster driving, faster shopping. Everyone is focused on all the things they need to get done, and it takes large acts of nature to bring neighbors out to interact with each other.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
I know it probably sounds corny, but this really is my family's motto. If you stop to think about what this phrase means, and truly live by it, you will see the full benefits of this philosophy. If you think about why people are impatient and when they are impatient, it's because they are so focused on where they are going that they forget to enjoy all the wonderful things that happen on the way there.
When my family goes on vacation we plan the destination and all the necessities on that end. But we don't plan on how we will get there. If there is time, we also have a rule to stay off the main highways. For example, my last vacation with my hubby before we had kids, I wanted to drive to Maine. So we drove up all the little roads along the coast until we got to our destination. On the way home, we took a completely different route and headed toward Vermont and then south from there. We saw so many amazing things on that trip that we never would have planned had we mapped out exactly how to get to Maine and back. The benefit of traveling this way? Freedom to stop whenever you want (which comes in handy when you see a sign directing you to something that sounds interesting). No one is freaking out or being impatient because we aren't sticking to a schedule or particular route.
As far as our kids, I remind them just about everyday not to wish their life away. If there is something they can't do until a certan age, and they make comments about wishing to be that age, I remind them the joys of being where they are right now. I tell them not to wish away all the time they have between now and where they think they want to be. Honestly, once you are there, what happens? The moment is gone. And you are left with wishing for the next event. Birthdays and holidays are a good example. I've tried to teach them that there is as much fun, if not more, in the anticipation of those events, as in the events themselves.
Personally, I think being patient is living in the moment. It's important to be responsible and plan the important things out, but once those things are planned, enjoy all the moments that happen on the way there. Have the presence of mind at all times, to enjoy all the little things in life. Because as they say:
Life is in the little things.
And if you only focus on your destination, you will be impatient to get there and you will miss out on all the wonderful blessings God has waiting for you on the journey.
This post is a participant in a blog carnival over at Bridget Chumbley's One Word at a Time.
Be sure to go and check out what everyone else wrote on: Patience.
One Word At A Time, Patience in One Word At A Time
Reader Comments (10)
Your post caused me to think about something. Many problems resolve on their own if we just wait. And, I like what you say about not wishing our lives away. Powerful idea.
Yes. Perhaps I focus too much on the destination(s) and not enough of the journey. Good thoughts, Ginny.
I have never practiced patience (and failed at times) until I became a mother. :)
Great thoughts. It does seem like we give our patience to everyone else but the ones who are closest. That's gotta change! Thank you for an excellent post Ginny.
I relate to the feeling of having the least patience with those we are closest to. Like Jason reiterated... that's gotta change!
I am guilty of focusing way too much on the destination, and I miss so much of the joy of the journey.
Thanks for this, Ginny.
You took the words right outta my mouth . . . er . . . post, Ginny. Love this!
It is about slowing down, taking a different way, and seeing things you would have missed. Good post, Ginny.
Thanks for the wonderful comments everyone!
Very good. Thought provoking.
We tell ourselves in times of sorrow and loss that we will slow down.
We intend to make changes, but soon are caught up in the
hurry and stresses.
How to see things in their true light?
How to "triage" our responsibilities and remember the need to change.
We need at times to just wing it and trust faith to keep us going.
I like the idea of life as the destination and when we are impatient, we miss so much.
I'm learning to be patient -- working in a homeless shelter, sometimes the journey is to simply stand beside someone until they can find themselves. I can't make them hurry up and do it, I have to simply stand with them.
thanks for the great thoughts.