Praying To Have a Servant's Heart
Monday, October 25, 2010 at 7:00AM MAD21 By Jason, M.Ed., M.A.R., Headmaster
Loving Others in a Age of Self-Indulgence
"...not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers,
but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,
rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man." (Ephesians 6:6-7)
Sometimes I get frustrated with how much my children complain. At times, it seems like no matter what we are doing or have done, they will find some problem or shortcoming and will launch into complaining and whining. Then, this morning, I woke up, healthy and surrounded by my family, and I got out of bed, irritated at my sore back and the fact that it was Monday morning. I was blessed to wake up in a nice home, and I walked downstairs grumbling in my mind because the kitchen wasn't perfectly clean. Where do my children get this self-pitying, self-indulgent whining? I guess I don't have to go very far to find that answer.
The problem with self-pitying complaining is that it focuses all of our attention on ourselves and keeps us from looking at and serving the real needs of others. It is pretty tough to love God and love others when my focus is so strongly pulled toward my own "problems." Growing up in the 70's, I remember well the old children's television theme song- "The most important person in the whole wide world is you and you hardly even know you."
The message of this catchy theme song is not generally helpful for cultivating an attitude of Jesus First, Others Second, Yourself Last (J.O.Y.). Our kids may not be growing up with that theme song, but they are still breathing the air of a self-indulgent culture that speaks so well to their self-centered sinful natures.
So, how do we pray for and develop a servant's heart in our children? Well, the basic pattern of heart-training in this area (as in every area of life) is as simple as it is difficult.
1. We pray for our children to have a servant's heart. Lord, You know how sinful and selfish all of us are by nature. You know the constant messages of self-indulgence in our culture. We need Your grace to change us. Please work in the hearts, minds and lives of my children to lead them away from selfishness and toward a concern for others. Please cultivate in their hearts, by Your Holy Spirit, an attitude of love and service toward others. I pray, according to Your word, that they might consider others better than themselves and look not only to their own interests but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4) I know this is possible only by Your grace and I ask that You might grant it for Your glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.
2. We teach our children from God's word, what it means to have a servant's heart. Our teaching should include the commands of Scripture to love and serve others as well as the examples we are given in Scripture of those who have modeled a servant's heart. Of course, our teaching should ultimately focus on Jesus, who laid down His life for us. Consider these passages in your teaching:
a. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28 and Mark 10:45).
b. Jesus washes the disciples' feet (John 13:1-20).
c. The Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37).
d. If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all (Mark 9:35).
e. The true meaning and nature of love (1 Corinthians 13).
f. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10).
3. We train our children in serving others. We need to do this in two ways - first, we need to be reminding them daily of how they are to be serving those around them. We can do this in very positive and encouraging ways. ("You're being such a good helper. Thank you!" "How do you think you could serve your brother and help him?" "It's so nice when people help each other, isn't it? That's what Jesus wants us to do and it is such a blessing.") The other way we can train them in serving others is to look for opportunities for them to serve in the community - helping to pick up trash in a local park, baking cookies with a parent and taking them to a local nursing home, making cards and taking them to children in the hospital, gathering up some books for a local book drive, making a box for Operation Christmas Child, buying a Christmas present for an Angel Tree child, etc.
4. We model a servant's heart for our children. OK, here's where it gets really tough: Our kids imitate what they see in us. They see us grumbling and complaining and looking for ways out of opportunities to serve and they learn that this is the way life is to be lived, despite all of our teaching and training to the contrary.
On the other hand, I want to say one thing here, in combining training and modeling- Some parents I know are wonderful servants and are always blessing others. They are also constantly serving their children, doing everything for them and making everything easy for them. This is not the kind of modeling that our children need. This teaches them that it is normal to expect to be served and to have their every whim fulfilled instantly. Sometimes, modeling for our children means serving them by requiring them to take care of their own things and their own needs.
5. When we have done the praying, teaching, training and modeling, we need to pray some more. We will never do any of this perfectly and our children will never learn perfectly, even from the best teaching and training. We are sinners, after all! So we pray, we do our best, and then we pray some more!
By the grace of God, we can see fruit from these labors - first in our own hearts and lives and then in the hearts and lives of our children. As we trust the promises of God and seek the power of His Holy Spirit, He can and will transform our hearts and lives more and more into His image. Then, just think how blessed our kids will be and think how impacted the world could be by a whole generation of Christians who rise above the petty selfishness of the culture and reach out to the world with a servant's heart! God may just use an army of compassionate servants like this to advance His kingdom and turn the world upside down! (Acts 17:6)
[Editor's Note: This post is the tenth contribution to a wonderful series we are doing on Biblical virtues and praying for our children. I firmly believe that as parents, it is part of our responsibility, and an honor, to pray to our Father in heaven on behalf of our children. I pray you are blessed and encouraged by the words of these posts and that you will join me in my passion for growing strong, confident, loving, honorable and faithful children of God. If you missed the first six posts, be sure to go and read them: Love for God's Word, Salvation for the Next Generation, Praying for the Willingness and Ability to Work, Biblical Self-Esteem: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough... Or Am I?, Love Is..., Praying for Perseverance; Faithfulness; Self-Control; and Respect]
Jason is blessed to be married to a wonderful woman and to have three children (two boys, aged 6 and 3 and a baby girl). He serves as the Headmaster of a classical, Christian school and as an elder in his church. He enjoys strong coffee, good books and nature walks with his family.
Kids, Parenting, Prayer, Serving in Prayers For Our Children
Reader Comments (2)
We like to celebrate when our kids sacrifice and give of themselves. We point out how God uses them in these ways as a faith-builder. You're so right, we need to pray and pray some more as well. Great thoughts--thank you!
Well done Jason. Thank you.
Our kids are grown. I like your emphasis on prayer. We can lead by example but sometimes wild hearts don't follow. Prayer I've seen throws an invisible lasso around them that won't let them go.