God Says... His Grace is Sufficient

By Dusty (Reflections on the Life of a Christian)

Have you ever been at the point of saying "I can’t go on?"

I have. What follows is my testimony…

Suicidal

I have been to that place where darkness surrounds and despair overwhelms. I have lived and breathed it.

I have tied the knot in a hangman’s noose and climbed on to a chair. I have secured the far end of the rope to the steel pipes lining the roof of a maintenance tunnel under my college dormitory. I have placed the noose around my neck. I have committed to kicking the chair out from under me… and so end my misery.

It was a place and time when I had lost all hope for a successful future. It was a time when I felt abandoned and abused by all I had held dear.

It was a time when there seemed to be no other way out…

Exhausted, Depressed and Broke

I have been to that place where getting out of bed to face another day seems to be an insurmountable task. Everywhere I looked there was more work to be done. Nothing seemed to ever be complete. I felt like I was on a treadmill , always running but never getting anywhere… and outside forces continually increased the speed of my sprint. No relief, no help, and no end in sight brought me crashing once more into despair.

I withdrew, but that only made matters worse. Life’s demands left unattended grew more and more complicated and overwhelming. One of the most notable issues during this time was my finances. They soared out of control and yet I continued to spend money on my pleasure instead of paying my existing bills. I stopped checking my mail or answering the phone, because all I ever got was collections…

Once more, I found myself in a place where I could see no light at the end of my tunnel...

Stressed

I have been to that place where stress affects health. Even though there were great things going on in my life at the time, my health and attitude deteriorated. I developed a condition known as prostatitis. Not much is known about the illness and there has not been a cure found that works consistently. The muscles of the prostate become inflamed which causes one to always feel the need to urinate. To compound the problem, it also weakens the muscles that contract around the bladder leaving one unable to void the fluids from their system.

Suffering from prostatitis, I became afraid to venture out in public. I lived with the expectancy of wetting myself or not being able to make it to the restroom in time. Driving to work became an exercise in becoming acquainted with every gas station along my 50 mile commute. Sitting through meetings, a movie, or a church service was near impossible.

I did not know how I would make it through another day like that, and the doctors seemed to indicate I would suffer from this issue the rest of my life.

I was not suicidal this time, but I was at the end of my rope…

I can't go on!

In each situation, I reached a point of crying out: I CANNOT GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS! Each situation seemed to be more than I could bear on my own. Each one demanded more of me than I thought was possible to give. Each one was relentless as it battered me and brought me down.

But then… God stepped in.

His Grace Was and Is Sufficient

I did not commit suicide. Seconds before kicking the chair out from under me, God sent a fellow student who was one of His own to reach out to me and show me His light.

I no longer suffer from prostatitis. God worked through a young doctor to help bring the symptoms under control. Normal treatment was a battery of antibiotics. They had no effect on me. In spite of a lack of evidence showing prostatitis could be caused by stress, this doctor administered anti-anxiety medication to me which caused my symptoms to completely vanish. A couple of years later as the external stressors diminished, I was able to discontinue drug therapy and to this day have not had a relapse.

I did not file bankruptcy or go to jail for unpaid debts. Seven years ago, with the help of two very special people, I began the process of repaying my debts. Today, my wife and I have a house note and one car note. All other debt has been satisfied in full.

So why do I share all of this?

Because everyday someone hits rock bottom. They lose sight of hope. They are enveloped in despair. They cry out in agony and defeat: “I can’t go on!”

That person may be you, or it may be someone you know. I share this with you today, to tell you from first hand experience:

God's Grace IS Sufficient

It was sufficient for me. It is sufficient for you. 

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (1 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Trust Him. Love Him. Accept Him. Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you:

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation." (Psalm 91:14-16)

Will you trust God with your inability and weakness? Will you depend upon Him to see you through? Will you allow Him to bring Light into your Darkness?

Dusty Rayburn is a lay minister and fellow blogger. He lives in Locust Fork, Alabama, has been married six years and has one amazing daughter. In his words: "I am a Christian. I am not perfect, nor do I imagine I ever will be. My God is perfect. I am forgiven. I am loved. I am His." You can find him on Twitter and at Reflections on the Life of a Christian.

Comments

[Dusty Rayburn]

Thank you again Ginny for allowing me to participate in this series.

God's grace never ceases to overwhelm me and fill me. His grace truly is sufficient for my needs.

[Jim F]

All I can say is - Amen! His Grace is sufficient for me!

[jasonS]

So thankful that when I am at my end, His grace is just getting started. Wonderful testimonies, Dusty. As many times as I 'hear' it from you, it always blesses me and I'm thankful for what God has done in your life and also through your living for Him now. Thanks.

[floyd]

It's an inspiration to hear and feel the strength of strong man. Strong because God is strong. Our strength is in understanding our weakness and His power in us. Awesome testimony.

Followed Jason over from his site. What a blessing. Thank you.